I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
