Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
