Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
