I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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