You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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