So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
