I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
