I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i barfeds in our rink
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
