They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
