i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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