I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
