I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love having hate sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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