You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
