my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
