She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
