She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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