I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
