Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
