Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
