Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
