We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
