You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
