According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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