it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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