i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize