the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
