It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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