im drinking this country out of the recession.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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