Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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