We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize