Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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