i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
