i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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