pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
