piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
