DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
