Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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