If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
