Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize