i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
