you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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