I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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