laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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