I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
is it fun? or sober?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
