dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
