your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
