I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
