i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
