please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
