Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
