youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
