it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
