I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
