Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
