Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
