you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
