A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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