I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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