She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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